A Bad Mood
Today, at work in the newspaper, I had to go to the north of the country to interview some neighbors and family of a Portuguese man that died a couple of days ago in France where he was an immigrant. The man died during his last trip to France. According to neighbors, he wanted to definitely return to Portugal soon. I found the people I wanted, I did my assignment, but the story won't go out of my mind. I feel so much pity for him and for his family. When I finished my assignment I was ok, but later I started to think how life is brief. A man works all his life and one day he has a car accident and he dies.
I haven't felt this feeling for a while because now I am in the 'culture' section of the paper and we deal with other kinds of subjects. Today I had to do this for 'society', and again experienced a post-assignment depression.
For several years (four) I worked in a section that dealt with poor people from bad neighborhoods. I had to deal with the darker side of reality and I discovered that most people don't live well and that makes them bitter, hurt - and I cannot deny that they have reasons. I cannot tell how many bad neighborhoods I visited. I never forget that once, when I was still a beginner, I went to hear the story of a woman who had a mentally and physically handicapped son. Every month he needed tons of diapers and she had no money to pay for them. She was old, she had a miserable retirement and she had no help. I will never forget her eyes, empty and alienated. But I will also never forget how, after all, she was so involved with her child and so caring. Love always finds a way, that's true.
I could tell many other stories that remain in my memory, but I am too busy being revolted with death. People die, so they should live as best they can, but the fact is sometimes they cannot, sometimes it's like a tunnel with no light.
Sometimes - I speak for myself - we live so inside our own problems that we don't realize there are people around us so much worse. Sometimes I think that it would be nice to go house-to-house and tell these people that the sun will rise tomorrow, tell them a joke, make them laugh with something, or just smile. But no, we are so inside our spoiled and little egos that we close our face (again, I speak for myself). But one thing I try, even if I am not the most sympathetic person on earth, and I am not, I try to be as human as I can, any time I have this kind of assignment.
I could be here speaking about my wedding dress that is going to be ready tomorrow, I could speak about how my Adverb is tender anytime I arrive home sad, but today I am depressed and the only thing I can say, just to finish is: live as best as you can because you never know when your hour is going to come.
See you tomorrow.