Contemporary Love

I have not written very often because I have had my problems and because I had nothing healthy to say, so I didn't want to dump my headaches on this space because, anyway, everybody has troubles and this is a space reserved for hope.

But I missed coming here. I miss writing as freely as I want, about anything I want, I miss the possibility that somewhere in the world somebody reads my words and takes some benefit from them.

Well, I have had some visible problems (immediate family stuff) and inner ones too. The family problems have taken their own way toward a solution, and if you love the people involved half of the way is done. And I have Adverb who always helps me think from several points of view so that I don't get too emotional and stuck in one single perspective. Of course sometimes I disagree with him, but that's never a problem.

But with the problems that only exist inside of us it's always a little bit more complicated, right? We can not see them or point to them, and the answers are also more complicated to find. And it's about this that I have been thinking lately.

I believe we can change things and ask for more. I believe that there is no one single road for a person. I believe that impossibility is something that doesn't exist. But I also believe that sometimes it takes time until we can change or have exactly what we want. I believe in time. But it's what we do with our time that can change things (or not).

But isn't it true that in between the point where we are and the point where we want to be there are always a lot of questions with several answers for each one? And isn't it true that this sometimes makes us delay getting to the point where we want to be? Or even wonder if that's where we really want to go?

I spend a great deal of my time wondering about these things: Do I want to be here? Do I want to do this? And in my case that applies to almost everything except people (about people I always know exactly where I want to be and with whom). Of course sometimes we have to be places with people we don't like. In that case I create my own world with a wall around it. But, back to the point, I understand one thing: It's very important to trust instincts.

And I arrived to this conclusion: Probably our body teaches us a lot. For example: If even though wondering if we should go or not go we keep going to a place, that's not always because we don't have the courage to search for some other place; maybe, but it can also be because inside ourself our brain tells us that there is something to do there, some reason to wait, something to learn. What does this have to do with instinct? To me, everything, because we are a whole and probably instinct is just the smarter part of our brain. I also believe that in the day that the whole of us doesn't want to go, we will stop. I believe that our body, as a whole, is our best friend.

But then I asked: what about women that keep going next to a husband that beats them? Well, tough tough question. Sometimes they just need money to be independent and go away; but, sometimes they need to go to the doctor because their body is not a whole anymore. Their body hurts and warns them, but their instincts are not working. Is it possible that they still have something to learn? NO, not in my point of view. They just need to realize that their body is not a whole anymore and they need help. They need somebody to help them find the love they lost for themselves.

It's my belief that everyone's body, in it's healthier way of being, knows that we are not here to suffer or to be perfect, but to experiment life and try to be as happy as we can. I remembered it today, next to my Adverb. I had a great day, I was away from my newspaper and spent all day with him. At a certain point we were in a very nice café. He was thinking and I was reading and suddenly I looked at him and, once more, I realized how lucky I am and how lucky anybody can be. Because what I have is possible for everybody, probably in different ways, but the world is a place with space for everything and everybody.

Did it take me time to arrive here? YES. Did I have to look for me a lot of times because I was lost in low self esteem? YES. Do I believe that everybody at a certain point, and more than once, loses themself? YES. Do I believe that it is always possible find ourself again and again? YES. Do I believe that everybody has the ability to make themself happy? YES. What about those cases full of misery and poverty where there seems to be no hope? Well, do you believe in the lotus flower? I do. Just for the record, it is the beautiful flower that grows in the middle of a swamp.

So, summarizing: maybe it's important to look inside ourself to see if our body is working as a whole, and after that, if it is, let it do its job; if it's not, ask for help.

Believe one thing, there is always (and I mean always) hope, because it's what you want to be that helps you become whatever you want. And of course, trust in time, maybe it's slow but it always comes.

And if I had to desire three things for all humanity, I would desire will power, persistence and hope.

See you.