Contemporary Love

Wasn't it Epicurius who said that to be happy we need to feel no active pain (physical pain)? Do I agree? More or less. What he said seems to me true, but also seems to me that it is not the entire truth.

I believe that are two kinds of pain: physical and spiritual and I believe that on one hand they are totally related, and on the other hand, not at all. I saw many rich people sad when apparently they have everything they need, I also saw people living in very bad conditions apparently very happy. And I also saw -- and these are the situations that really break my heart -- people living in very bad conditions very unhappy. So, like a fair, the world is a place with everything. Of course some products we would easily reject, such as poverty or bitterness.

Going back to Epicurius I have some questions: To not have active pain, we need food and clothes to protect us from the cold, right? So, to have those things we need money, right? So, can money avoid pain? NO. But it is my belief that it can soften it. And I am going to tell you a story that happened with me.

Once I had to go Italy to do an assignment for my newspaper. There I was in one of the most beautiful countries in the world ready to work, but, guess what, completely miserable because Adverb and I had just broken up (I am not going to tell the details because it is just not my way of being). I cried like crazy, I thought I was going to die, and at a certain point I thought I was never going to be able to do my assignment. Then, I met an older journalist that had no fear of my bitter face and who offered his ears and listened to me. From the several talks we had -- where I was always with a handkerchief in my hand to clean the tears from my eyes and the snot from my nose -- I remember that once in Sienna he said: "You are in the most beautiful city in the world, are you going to keep crying?"; and I answered him: "I could be seated in a million dollars but I would be crying because I lost the most precious thing I had". Then he said to me, "Girl, I know that and I cannot take away your reason, but think that you still have an assignment to do, that it is a great opportunity they gave to you and think that you have money to eat and you don't have any kind of deficiency". So what happened?

So, I learned my lesson (that's why I like older people so much). Spiritual pain is the worst pain in the world -- no doubt about it -- but if we are healthy enough to work and to keep doing our daily obligations we will avoid another pain. We will have the money to eat, pay our bills, and live with dignity enough to start from zero. And we start from zero many times...

So, to finish the story, I did my assignment, I came back to my newspaper, I thanked all the compassion that a couple of friends had, I thanked the generosity of one of my bosses; and I returned home to start all over again. Wake up in the morning, take a shower, one hour on the road, enter the newspaper (late as usual), write my assignments, another hour on the road, go visit my father or my nephew and come to my empty house full of Adverb memories. Was it easy? NO. Did I die? NO.

And one month later Adverb came back and he did not find me begging on a street corner.

Do I seem too Kantian (strict)? Probably. One of my "me's" is asking: "How can you be such a hypocrite? You almost died..."; the other one, the one writing today, answers: "Sure you almost did, but a person has to do what he has to do"...

You know I was not to going to write anything of this but.... it's always like this, right? Seems that our fingertips always have their own life...

So, trying to join both of my "me's": What do we need to be happy, Epicurius? Oh, yes, the guy died a while ago. So, according to both of my "me's" and taking advantage from a moment of harmony, we need to love, we need to be loved (I am not speaking only about romantic love) and we need to feel that no matter what, we still have the dignity to keep on the road when everything fails, in other words, we need to love ourselves.

Where does money enter here? Well, I lost it somewhere. Anyway, I have to go eat. So, goodbye.

"Adverb, do we have enough money to go to the supermarket?..."; ah, that's where money enters.