Contemporary Romance: Sense and Nonsense, Part One
Want to examine the concept of romance. Figure it has a connection to love or potential love, but the fine points are fuzzy.
Search. Get the feeling dictionary definitions of romance are closely tied to the editor's personal situation.
Dictionary Dot Com: 1. a. A love affair.
Free Dictionary Dot Com: Noun 1. romance - a relationship between two lovers; relationship - a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection): "he didn't want his wife to know of the relationship".
Word Reference Dot Com: romance, definition 13: to tell extravagant or improbable lies.
Must be missing something.
Return to Dictionary Dot Com. Scroll down. There it is, close to the bottom. Overlooked the informal, verb, transitive, definition: "1. To make love to; court; or woo." Progress. No mention of adultery or lying.
Probe the concepts of court and woo. Seem goal oriented, an attempt to win something. Specific objective(s) uncertain but lurking.
A closer look. Courting and wooing possibly an attempt to win something from someone in particular who isn't particularly eager to turn that something over absent a certain amount of acceptable persuasion. Call that something to be won "affection" of one type or another. Romance: the act of persuading someone to deliver affection. Getting closer. Identify the key elements. Parties: courter and courtee. Goal: affection. Method: persuasion.
Interesting. Use of persuasion implies reluctance. An obstacle or hurdle. Something to be overcome. Courter desires courtee's affection. Courtee does not dispense affection freely. Must be won. Reluctance to dispense affection must be turned into a willingness to dispense. What persuasive techniques apply? Flattery? Bribery? Trickery? Too Chauceresque. Gross public displays of affection? Too Shakespearean. Leave tactical questions to a later date.
Missed key point. Above analysis assumes unilateral courtship. Mutual courtship another possibility. A bilateral exchange of persuasive acts. Much lower reluctance threshold. Different techniques apply: displays of desire, sincerity, and affection.
Unilateral romancing: hard sell. Bilateral: soft sell. Unilateral: goal is to win affection. Bilateral: goal is to renew, rekindle, or augment pre-existing shared affection. Two species of romance.
Have isolated the grand strategy: receipt of affection (physical, emotional, both, doesn't matter at this point). Basic strategy: persuasion. Tactics: Contemporary Romance, Part Two.