Contemporary Love

How much time do we have for the people we love? More and more, it seems we have less and less time. We get up, we take a bath, we eat something (sometimes not), we spend hours and hours inside the car - bus or train - to go to work, we work long hours, we spend more hours to return home, we have to stop to buy the groceries, we have to stop to pay the bills, we arrive tired, we make the dinner... Next day everything again, not forgetting that in-between we mistreat people around us, we fight, we get nervous, we want to give the best we can... but in the end, sometimes, we win miserable salaries from which we have to eat, pay the bills and start all over again.

"Another day in paradise"... What's good about all this? Two things: life itself, as an experience, and, second: the fact that we have people we really love.

But how many times do we fail to give family and friends the attention they need? Life's tough, but we all think that family and friends are guaranteed. And that's the problem, because nothing in this life is guaranteed. The biggest adventure in life is not conquering people, as hard as that may be, it's keeping them and keeping them happy.

And we will see them happy only if we are happy. But most of us are not very happy. Probably because we are addicted to the speed of modern life, because we have the illusion that with this hectic rhythm we will conquer more things, and while we are concerned about conquering things we forget to keep our people.

Nothing I write is new, not at all. Nothing anyone can write is new, but, it seems that even if what I say is repeated over and over, most people delay doing something about it. Probably only when we are old we understand the sense of life.

And the sense of life is peace.

Who I am to say this? Exactly one of you that spends too much time inside the car, eating badly, working as best as I know, struggling to pay the bills, sleeping less than I should, worrying about everything, with more bad humor than I would like... and not giving enough attention to the people I love.

How many days has it been since I called my big friend Sara? My friend John? My friend Mesquita, Filipa, Tony, etc, etc? How many days don't I take care of my father as I should? How may times was I impatient and aggressive with my sister that I love so much? How may days did I spend without seeing my nephew, my adorable and honest brother and his wife? How many times didn't I understand my brother-in-law?

Why, because life is tough? It is, so what? That's what we live for - to learn, to suffer, to smile. The fact is: the rhythm we live by doesn't allow us to smile too often. Of course there are those good people that I envy that always smile no matter how hard their life is. But for me, that wisdom will come only with time. At least, I know that we shouldn't take for granted the people we truly care about.

Because family is our best support, and, in the end, is the base of all society. If you are happy at home, you will be happy or happier outside of home, and you will be more generous even if you don't notice it. Imagine if everybody was happy at home. I know, I am being Utopian, but I can hope for it, can't I?

All of this to say that we should always love our loved ones as good as we know we should because we never know what tomorrow will bring.

And today was a very sad day. Almost 200 people died in Spain because of a terrorist attack. A lot of people will stay without their family and friends. And that made me think about how brief life can be, about how often we should kiss and hug the ones we love because we never know.

A family without a member is always a family without all the happiness it deserved. I know that because I had no mother and I always felt different, as if there was always a hole in my heart. But what happened today was much more than losing loved ones, it was losing them in a very cruel and unacceptable way. A way that shows how unhappy and sick the world we live in is. A way that will bring, after sadness and pain, revolt and hate. And that makes me really sad. Because I truly believe that violence is the worst response to anything.

No matter the causes, violence is always a repugnant thing. Because life is sacred. And life has to be respected. I don't care about religions, political colors, dirty political games, traditions, cultures, races. I care about humans. Point, period. Because this is our world, the only one we have, and we have to live here all together. With respect. If we don't like it we always have the option of indifference. And this is a valid option for all those who plant seeds of hate, no matter if they live in the east, the west (or somewhere in-between), or if they believe in Jesus, Allah, or money.

There are no books on economics or religion that instigate violence. We don't need to change or burn books, what we need is to change people and the way they interpret the world.

I would love to believe that in two centuries the world will be better, but I don't know. The 20th Century, the century of "facilities", technology, information and humane laws, was also the century of big barbarities. Now, in the twenty-first, it doesn't seem things have changed. Until when will we continue to live among stupidity and ignorance with a computer in front of our eyes?

Now I am sleepy, I have to go, I have to give a ton of kisses to my Adverb. Even if I am sad because the night always brings more and more thoughts and I know I will not escape thinking about all those families that were destroyed today. To the ones that died, peace to their soul. To the ones that think all this speech is to corny, pity.

But I hope all you stay as best as you can.

Regards,

Proverb