In Praise of Mediocrity
Proverb will hate this post. We've talked about it, or tried to, a few times but can't come to an agreement about the importance of mediocrity. She, like most people, finds the word unpleasant. I think it's something we should celebrate.
But, if Proverb, the most perceptive and intelligent person I've ever known, disagrees I'm either failing to communicate or I'm wrong. Maybe it's like my grand-daddy always said, "This conversation will only make sense if you understand what I'm saying."
We live in a world of superlatives, rankings, and comparisons. There's a 1-100, "best of" or "most" list for everything. And the world is competitive, even with respect to things that are ultimately subjective like fine art competitions and battles of the bands. The connotation attached to mediocre isn't pretty. Who wants to hear someone call their finest effort mediocre at best?
What I mean by advocating the celebration of mediocrity is that we should learn to cherish and celebrate personal excellence that is comparatively mediocre. Most of us do that most of the time when it comes to friends and family, but I think the inability to do it in general causes a fair amount of unnecessary pain.
Here's an example.
Years ago I was a guitar trader. One day a potential buyer came to my house and while he test drove a guitar we talked. I put him in his mid-30s. He told me he was a recent immigrant (to the U.S. via India) who two months ago had quit his job as a software engineer to become a professional guitarist. He had enrolled in some intensive guitar school and needed a better guitar.
Of course, I said that was a pretty daring move. He stopped playing and told me it had been his dream since childhood in India. Things had gotten to the point where he couldn't think of anything else. It was a burning passion and he figured it was now or never.
Listening to him noodle on my guitar, I couldn't imagine how he got accepted to a guitar instruction program that had any entrance standards. He wasn't far from being a rank beginner and the few riffs and chords he could play had much room for improvement. Maybe we had different ideas as to what constituted a pro.
He said he expected to work with a bar band within the next six months since he was practicing ten or more hours a day and had enrolled in a pricey school. I said keep in touch and let me know when he started gigging.
He did.
About a year later I got an email from him letting me know his band was playing at some small bar. This I had to hear.
I heard. He sucked. I stayed until the break and asked him if he was happy with his new career. He smiled. I wished him good luck, left, and didn't hear from him again.
But, a couple of years later I happened to go into another small bar and there he was playing with a different band. He had improved and the rest of the band was decent, but even if some of his riffs had smoothed out I could tell he didn't have a good touch and probably never would. At the very best his playing would reach the level of mediocre if he kept at it (and I had a strong feeling he would keep at it).
On the way home though I realized that while there may be something left of center in his playing, there was something even more off the mark in my thinking.
My opinion about him eventually attaining mediocrity was based on what I thought a "pro" should sound like. It was based on a comparison. I realized that while he may be comparatively mediocre, which is a subjective conclusion, he was heavily engaged in the pursuit of excellence. His own level of excellence. His performances on these two occassions may have been comparatively weak, but they might have also been his personal best.
But, that's where attitudes get complex. I happened to know his background story and how seriously he pursued his passion. Without that information I probably would have pegged him as a somewhat lazy hobbyist. So there was a dilemma. On one hand I had to celebrate his pursuit, but on the other, as a paying bar-going customer couldn't I expect something more?
Maybe it's not so much of a dilemma as it is a conflict, a tension between personal best and comparative best (or comparative mediocrity).
What to do when a personal best is comparatively mediocre? Should we give up? Say, "Well, no matter how diligently I pursue excellence in this field I will always be mediocre compared to some so why bother?" Sure, our friends and family will, if we're lucky, applaud our diligence and progress, but what if no one contributes to the tip jar?
If you believe, as I do, that a life worth living requires the diligent pursuit of excellence in something (and it will probably have to be something about which we are passionate or the pursuit will be half-hearted and far from diligent), then maybe it's good to make peace with two ideas.
One: Make peace with your market share, be it ever so humble. If your best is comparatively mediocre, don't waste time sitting by the phone waiting for a call from Carnegie Hall.
Two: Live by your own standards. This flows from the principle above. If you depend on the approval of others, you're in for a rough time. Strive for your personal best and try to celebrate the strivings of others. You'll always come across a guitarist whose playing humbles you but remember, his efforts have nothing to do with yours. Be your own source of validation. Believe it or not, many, if not most, of the "great" players are as insecure about their position in the comparative world as you are.